Tag: Metroid

To-Do

Games I've Bought Individually and Haven't Played Yet

  • Shenmue 3
  • Littlewood
  • Slime Rancher
  • God of War (2018)
  • Hades
  • Shadow of the Tomb Raider
  • Metroid: Samus Returns
  • Castlevania Anniversary Collection
  • Castlevania Requiem
  • Divinity: Original Sin
  • Steamworld Dig
  • Xenoblade Chronicles X
  • Pyre
  • Overcooked
  • Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Ys 7
  • Grandia 2
  • Trails in the Sky 2
  • Fallout
  • System Shock 2
  • FarCry
  • Eversion
  • Zissi's Island
  • Paper Mario

Games I've Bought in Bundles and Haven't Played Yet

  • Ittle Dew
  • Ittle Dew 2+
  • Mass Effect: Legendary Edition
  • Command & Conquer Remastered Collection
  • Planet Zoo
  • Control
  • Graveyard Keeper
  • Evoland
  • Shining Resonance Refrain
  • Zwei: The Arges Adventure
  • Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
  • Children of Morta
  • Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
  • Catherine
  • Wargroove
  • Okami
  • Fae Tactics
  • Supraland
  • Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
  • Middle-Earth: Shadow of War
  • Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
  • Superhot: Mind Control Delete
  • If Found...
  • Genesis Noir
  • Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
  • Chicken Police
  • Ghostrunner
  • Suzerain
  • Street Fighter 5
  • 1700 or so games in the Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality, including but not limited to
    • Celeste
    • Night in the Woods
    • Night of the Consumers
    • Nuclear Throne
    • Quadrilateral Cowboy
    • Super Hexagon
    • A Normal Lost Phone
    • Starseed Pilgrim
    • Octodad: Dadliest Catch
    • A Short Hike
    • Loot Rascals
    • MewnBase
    • Wheels of Aurelia
  • Bundle for Ukraine, including but not limited to
    • Superhot
    • Wandersong
    • Sundered
    • Omeganaut
    • TowerFall Ascension
    • Underhero
    • Eldritch
    • Particle Mace
    • Nebs 'n Debs
    • Clash Force
  • Stand with Ukraine Bundle, including but not limited to
    • Metro Exodus
    • Fable Anniversary
    • Quantum Break
    • Slay the Spire
    • Skullgirls 2nd Encore
    • Sunset Overdrive
    • Tooth and Tail
    • Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
    • Yoku's Island Express
  • Baba Is You
  • Football Manager 2000
  • Hyper Light Drifter
  • <observer_
  • NBA 2K20
  • Kerbal Space Program
  • Eastside Hockey Manager
  • Jackbox Party Pack 4
  • The Ball
  • Super Time Force Ultra
  • Surviving Mars
  • Armello
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Overlord II
  • Kingdom Classic
  • Gonner
  • Overgrowth
  • System Shock: Enhanced Edition
  • Broken Age
  • Newt One
  • All You Can Eat
  • New Beginning
  • No Time to Explain Remastered
  • Knights of Pen and Paper 2
  • StarCrossed
  • Vertiginous Golf
  • EarthNight
  • Plunge
  • Pesterquest
  • Realpolitiks
  • Elite Dangerous
  • My Memory of Us
  • MirrorMoon EP
  • In Between
  • Gunscape
  • Neo Cab
  • Regular Human Basketball
  • Planet of the Eyes
  • Crowntakers
  • FRAMED Collection
  • Strider (2014)
  • Resident Evil 0 HD Remaster
  • Resident Evil HD Remaster
  • Resident Evil Revelations
  • Resident Evil Revelations 2
  • Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
  • Dead Rising 4
  • DmC 4
  • Blasphemous
  • Ancestors Legacy
  • Phantom Doctrine
  • Dead in Vinland
  • Horizon Chase Turbo
  • Dark Future
  • Xmorph Defense
  • Aegis Defenders
  • Deser Child
  • SoulCalibur 6
  • Yakuza Kiwami 2
  • Yakuza 3
  • Yakuza 4
  • Yakuza 5
  • My Time At Portia
  • 11-11: Memories Retold
  • Synthetik
  • Evergarden
  • Operator
  • Call of Duty: WWII
  • Crash Bandicoot: N Sane Trilogy
  • Spyro Reignited Trilogy
  • Distraint 2
  • Unexplored
  • Rusty Lake Paradise
  • Bendy and the Ink Machine
  • Prison Architect
  • Nex Machina
  • Shantae: Half-Genie Hero
  • Disgaea
  • Disgaea 2
  • Sonic Forces
  • Sonic Lost World
  • Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
  • Metro Last Light Redux
  • Crayon Physics
  • Broken Sword
  • Broken Sword 5
  • Tesla Effect
  • Shadowrun: Hong Kong
  • Shadowrun: Dragonfall
  • Xenonauts
  • Torment: Tides of Numenera
  • Dreamfall Chapters
  • Affordable Space Adventures
  • Gauntlet '15
  • Civilization 3
  • Civilization 4: Colonization
  • X-COM: UFO Defense
  • X-COM: Terror From the Deep
  • X-COM: Apocalypse
  • X-COM: Interceptor
  • X-COM: Enforcer
  • Pirates
  • Starships
  • Ace Patrol
  • Ace Patrol: Pacific Skies
  • Chameleon Run
  • Hitman Go
  • Dropsy
  • The Banner Saga
  • Punch Club
  • Super Stickman Golf 3
  • Ys: The Oath in Felghana
  • Ys 6
  • Ys Origin
  • This War of Mine
  • Nuclear Throne
  • Renowned Explorers
  • Nova-111
  • The Magic Circle
  • Super Avalanche
  • Tailwind Prologue
  • Strikbold
  • Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
  • A Boy and His Blob
  • Human Resource Machine
  • Retro City Rampage
  • Morrowind
  • Oblivion
  • Bioshock 2
  • Bioshock Infinite
  • Orange Box
    • Half-Life 2
    • Episode 1
    • Episode 2
    • Portal
    • Team Fortress 2
  • Dungeons & Dragons Anthology
    • Baldur's Gate
    • Baldur's Gate 2
    • Icewind Dale
    • Icewind Dale 2
    • Planescape: Torment
    • Temple of Elemental Evil
  • Aquaria
  • Gish
  • Penumbra: Overture
  • Lugaru
  • Trine 2
  • Mark of the Ninja
  • Eets Munchies
  • FTL
  • Rocketbirds
  • LIMBO
  • Shadowman
  • Penny Arcade Episode 2
  • Shank
  • Shank 2
  • The Baconing
  • Plants vs. Zombies: GOTY
  • Fist of Awesome
  • Reaper
  • Super Comboman
  • Ascendant
  • Fist of Jesus
  • Windward
  • Ziggurat
  • Kentucky Route Zero
  • Beholder
  • A Story About My Uncle
  • Neon Drive
  • Double Dragon: Neon

Games I've Bought and Haven't Finished Yet

  • Blizzard Arcade Collection
  • Super Mario Odyssey
  • Immortals: Fenyx Rising
  • Pentiment
  • Yakuza 0 -- Finished 2023-03-01
  • Yakuza Kiwami
  • Lenna's Inception
  • Minit
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Stray
  • Vampire Survivors
  • Anodyne -- Finished 2022-11-19
  • Destroy All Humans
  • Triangle Strategy
  • Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
  • Castlevania Advance Collection
  • Trials of Mana -- Finished 2023-05-04
  • Mega Man 11
  • Untitled Goose Game
  • SolSeraph
  • Guardians of the Galaxy -- Finished 2022-02-19
  • Spider-Man: Miles Morales -- Finished 2022-12-04
  • FF7 Remake -- Finished 2022-02-07
  • Death Stranding
  • Shiren the Wanderer: The Tower of Fortune and the Dice of Fate
  • Shiren the Wanderer (SNES cartridge)
  • Persona 5 Royal -- Finished 2021-06-21
  • RimWorld
  • Cadence of Hyrule
  • Mario/Rabbids
  • Ring Fit Adventure
  • Octopath Traveler
  • GRIP
  • Disco Elysium -- Finished 2020-07-04
  • Azure Dreams
  • Metro 2033 Redux
  • Indivisible
  • CrossCode
  • The Messenger
  • NieR: Automata
  • Iconoclasts
  • Tanglewood
  • Hollow Knight
  • Tetris Effect
  • 20XX
  • Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark
  • Final Fantasy 15 -- Finished 2019-06-28
  • Theatrhythm Final Fantasy
  • SteamWorld Heist
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
  • Sonic Mania -- Finished 2019-11-17
  • Spider-Man -- Finished 2019-04-16
  • Borderlands 2
  • Rise of the Tomb Raider
  • Wasteland 2
  • Shadowrun Returns -- Finished 2018-03-16
  • Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
  • Dragon Quest Builders
  • Breath of the Wild
  • Super Mario Maker
  • Mad Max -- Finished 2018-02-11
  • Shadow of Mordor
  • Tomb Raider '13 -- Finished 2017-06-13
  • Owlboy
  • Rayman Origins
  • Freedom Planet
  • Civilization 6
  • A Link Between Worlds -- Finished 2014-08-28
  • Majora's Mask
  • Fire Emblem: Awakening -- Finished 2015-03-14
  • Shin Megami Tensei 4
  • Devil Survivor Overclocked
  • Mario Kart 7 -- Finished single-player 2014-07-20
  • Super Mario 3D Land
  • Ys -- Finished 2017-02-04
  • Ys 2
  • Ys: Memories of Celceta -- Finished 2017-02-01
  • Axiom Verge -- Finished 2016-09-11
  • Stardew Valley
  • Mighty No. 9
  • Transformers: Devastation
  • Trails in the Sky
  • The Stick of Truth
  • Final Fantasy Type-0 HD
  • Shovel Knight -- Finished 2016-02-15
  • XCOM: Enemy Unknown -- Finished 2016-03-17
  • Civilization 4 -- Finished a full game 2016-01-23
  • Civilization 5 -- Finished a full game 2016-02-14
  • Undertale
  • I Am Setsuna
  • Shantae: Risky's Revenge -- Finished 2016-08-07
  • Adventures of Mana -- Finished 2022-05-16
  • Witcher 3
  • Skyrim
  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Bionic Commando: Rearmed
  • Guacamelee -- Finished 2015-02-21
  • Valkyria Chronicles -- Finished 2014-12-20
  • Valkyria Chronicles 2
  • Valkyria Chronicles 4
  • Walking Dead: 400 Days -- Finished 2014-01-05
  • The Wolf Among Us -- Finished 2014-07-18
  • Psychonauts
  • Super Mario Galaxy -- Finished 2013-06-15
  • Super Mario Galaxy 2
  • Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Last Story -- Finished 2013-07-13
  • Red Dead Redemption -- Finished 2018-04-14
  • Gears of War
  • Crackdown
  • Dead Rising
  • Tactics Ogre
  • Star Ocean: First Departure
  • Castlevania: Dracula X Chronicles
  • Dragon Quest 9
  • Etrian Odyssey 3
  • Retro Game Challenge
  • WarioWare DIY
  • Half-Life
  • Cthulhu Saves the World
  • Bastion
  • DuckTales Remastered -- Finished 2013-08-22
  • World of Goo
  • Samorost 2
  • A Virus Named TOM
  • Fez
  • Brutal Legend
  • Ghostbusters
  • Penny Arcade Episode 1
  • Legend of Grimrock
  • Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril
  • Pier Solar
  • Metroid Prime 2
  • Persona 4
  • Mega Man X8

Games I've Received as Gifts and Haven't Finished Yet

  • Tears of the Kingdom
  • Fallout: New Vegas
  • Dark Forces
  • Jedi Knight
  • Jedi Outcast
  • Jedi Academy
  • SaGa Scarlet Grace
  • Anodyne 2
  • Recettear
  • TMNT: Shredder's Revenge
  • ActRaiser Renaissance -- Finished 2022-09-12
  • Guacamelee 2
  • Eiyuden Chronicle Rising
  • Streets of Rage 4
  • Bravely Default 2
  • Yakuza 6
  • Yakuza: Like a Dragon -- Finished 2021-11-19
  • Dragon Quest 11
  • Last Remnant
  • Portal 2
  • Sleeping Dogs
  • Hatoful Boyfriend
  • Shower with Your Dad Simulator
  • The Walking Dead -- Finished 2013-02-17
  • Donkey Kong Country Returns
  • Kirby's Epic Yarn
  • Mega Man 10
  • Kirby's Canvas Curse
  • Dragon Quest 6

Games I Got for Free and Haven't Finished Yet

  • Horizon Zero Dawn -- Finished 2022-10-04
  • AM2R
  • Spelunky
  • Batman: Arkham Knight -- Finished 2015-08-12
  • Batman: Arkham Origins -- Finished 2022-02-22
  • Game of Thrones
  • Monument Valley
  • GTA: San Andreas
  • Wario Land 2
  • Sonic 4 Episode 1
  • Ultimate NES Remix -- Finished 2015-05-24
  • New Super Mario Bros. 2 -- Finished 2015-03-18
  • Torchlight
  • Bioshock
  • Fallout 2
  • Bard's Tale (Android)
  • Mighty Gunvolt -- Finished 2014-09-11
  • Game Dev Story -- Made it to endgame 2014-03-29

Expansions I Haven't Finished Yet

  • Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare
  • XCOM: Enemy Within
  • Shovel Knight
    • Plague of Shadows
    • Specter of Torment
    • King of Cards
  • KotOR 2 Content Restoration Mod
  • Final Fantasy 15 Royal DLC
  • Sonic Mania Plus

Compilations I've Partially Completed

  • Shenmue 1&2
    • 1 -- Finished 2022-11-30
    • 2
  • TMNT: The Cowabunga Collection
    • Arcade
      • TMNT -- Finished 2022-09-14
      • Turtles in Time -- Finished 2022-09-17
    • SNES
      • Turtles in Time
      • Tournament Fighters
    • Genesis
      • Hyperstone Heist
      • Tournament Fighters -- Finished 2022-10-04
    • NES
      • TMNT -- Finished 2022-09-04
      • TMNT 2 -- Finished 2022-10-15
      • TMNT 3
      • Tournament Fighters -- Finished 2022-09-02
    • GB
      • TMNT -- Finished 2022-10-09
      • TMNT 2
      • TMNT 3 -- Finished 2023-02-27
  • Disney Afternoon Collection
    • DuckTales -- Finished 2022-10-17
    • DuckTales 2
    • Rescue Rangers
    • Rescue Rangers 2
    • TaleSpin
    • Darkwing Duck
  • Mega Man Legacy Collection
    • Mega Man -- Finished
    • Mega Man 2 -- Finished
    • Mega Man 3 -- Finished
    • Mega Man 4 -- Finished
    • Mega Man 5
    • Mega Man 6
  • Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
    • Mega Man Zero -- Finished 2022-08-20
    • Mega Man Zero 2
    • Mega Man Zero 3
    • Mega Man Zero 4
    • Mega Man ZX
    • Mega Man ZX Advent

Games I've Bought and Haven't Finished Replaying Yet

  • Doom (the original)
  • Batman: Arkham City -- Finished 2015-01-06
  • Valkyria Chronicles
  • Mega Man Legends 2
  • Mass Effect 2
  • Sonic CD
  • Mega Man: Powered Up
  • Mega Man: Maverick Hunter X -- Finished 2015-10-12
  • Crisis Core
  • Super Mario World
  • Zelda 2 -- Finished 2013-05-05
  • Final Fantasy 6 Advance
  • DuckTales Remastered
  • Skies of Arcadia

Remakes I Haven't Finished of Games I Have Finished

  • Metroid Prime Remastered -- Finished 2023-06-13
  • Link's Awakening (Switch) -- Finished 2021-12-19
  • Final Fantasy (PSP)
  • Final Fantasy 4 DS
  • Final Fantasy 5 (Android)
  • Final Fantasy 10
  • Sonic 2 (Android)
  • Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland
  • Dragon Quest 7 (3DS)

ROMs I've Downloaded and Haven't Finished

  • Oracle of Seasons
  • Mega Man World 5 DX -- Finished 2023-03-21
  • Super Mario Land 2 DX -- Finished 2023-02-25
  • Sonic: Triple Trouble -- Finished 2022-12-09
  • Final Fantasy 6 T-Edition
  • For the Frog the Bell Tolls
  • Retro Game Challenge 2
  • Makai Toshi SaGa (WonderSwan Color)
  • SaGa 2 (DS)
  • Earth Bound
  • Earthbound
  • Soul Blazer
  • BS-Zelda -- Time limit ran out; unwinnable; not going to start over
  • BS-Zelda: LttP
  • Sonic 2 Delta
  • Phantasy Star Generation 1
  • Super Mario 3mix

ROMs I've Downloaded and Haven't Played

  • 7th Dragon
  • SaGa 3 (DS)
  • Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem
  • Soma Bringer
  • Tales of Innocence
  • Valkyria Chronicles 3

Games I Got for Free and Haven't Played

  • Neverwinter Nights EE
  • Under the Moon
  • Wolfenstein: The New Order
  • The Beast Inside
  • Lorelai
  • Dead Island 2
  • The Callisto Protocol
  • Mom Hid My Game
  • Dishonored 2
  • Beat Cop
  • Evil Within 2
  • Daymare
  • Greak: Memories of Azur
  • Behold the Kickmen
  • King of Seas
  • Ghost of a Tale
  • Terroir
  • Narita Boy
  • Jazz Jackrabbit 2 Collection
  • Genesis Alpha One
  • Master of Magic Classic
  • Immortal Redneck
  • Lovecraft's Untold Stories
  • Dex
  • Stasis
  • Bananner Nababber
  • VirtuaVerse
  • Sanitarium
  • Venetica
  • Flashback
  • Iris and the Giant
  • Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
  • Cave Story's Secret Santa
  • Crime Cities
  • Beholder
  • Wanderlust: Transsiberia
  • ARMA: Cold War Assault
  • Hellpoint
  • Surviving Mars
  • Tonight We Riot
  • Subnautica
  • Abzu
  • Enter the Gungeon
  • Rez Infinite
  • The Witness
  • Thumper
  • Bomber Crew
  • Brigador
  • Butcher
  • Kingdom
  • Europa Universalis 2
  • NiGHTS
  • Serious Sam
  • F1 2018
  • Warhammer 40K: Rites of War
  • Eye of the Beholder Trilogy
  • Hitman: Absolution
  • Total Annihilation
  • Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
  • Total War: Shogun 2
  • Pac-Man Championship Edition 2
  • Manual Samuel
  • Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection
  • Uncharted: Legacy of Thieves Collection
  • Journey
  • Symmetry
  • Mabel and the Wood
  • Tower of Time
  • Borderlands 3
  • Serial Cleaner
  • Endless Space Collection
  • DiRT Rally
  • The Last of Us
  • Obduction
  • Tacoma
  • Teslagrad
  • SOMA
  • Lego Hobbit
  • Lego Lord of the Rings
  • Full Throttle
  • Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
  • Orwell
  • Hacknet Deluxe
  • Unreal Gold
  • Eador: Masters of the Broken World
  • Satellite Reign
  • Crusader Kings 2
  • Spec Ops: The Line
  • The Darkness 2
  • Alcarys Complex
  • F1 2015
  • Lethal League
  • King of Fighters 2002
  • Amnesia: The Dark Descent
  • Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
  • Carmageddon TDR 2000
  • Oxenfree
  • Layers of Fear
  • Homefront
  • Grim Fandango Remastered
  • Company of Heroes 2
  • Sanctum 2
  • MDK
  • Syberia
  • Killer is Dead
  • Rising Storm
  • Jotun
  • Shadow Warrior
  • Lost Odyssey
  • Dungeons 2
  • Saints Row 2
  • Corporate Lifestyle Simulator
  • Huntsman: The Orphanage
  • Fantasy General
  • Batman: Arkham Origins: Blackgate
  • Tropico 4
  • Bionic Dues
  • Divine Divinity
  • Sonic 4 Episode 2
  • Gothic 2
  • Ultima 4
  • Worlds of Ultima: Savage Empire
  • Ultima: Worlds of Adventure 2: Martian Dreams
  • Akalabeth
  • Shadow Warrior Classic
  • Jagged Alliance: Deadly Games
  • Wreckateer
  • Penny Arcade Episode 3
  • Star Command
  • Magrunner: Dark Pulse
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Aliens vs. Predator Classic 2000
  • Metro 2033 -- Bought Redux; not planning to play original
  • Teleglitch
  • Mount and Blade
  • Stealth Inc 2
  • Gabriel Knight: SotF20AE
  • Dreamfall Chapters
  • SPACECOM
  • Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
  • Outlast

Games I Got for the Multiplayer
(so finishing them isn't really the point)

  • Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
  • CTR: Nitro Fueled
  • Super Smash Bros Ultimate
  • Them's Fightin' Herds
  • Lego Star Wars
  • Katamari Damacy Reroll
  • Team Sonic Racing
  • Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed
  • Super Mario 3D World
  • New Super Mario Bros. U
  • New Super Luigi Bros. U
  • Super Smash Bros Wii U
  • Splatoon
  • Mario Kart 8
  • Yoshi's Woolly World
  • DKC Tropical Freeze
  • Goat Simulator
  • Rocket League
  • Pac-Man 256
  • Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime

Games I've Funded on Kickstarter that Don't Exist Yet

  • Project Phoenix

Metroid: Brother from Another Mother Postmortem

So, Metroid: Other M has ginned up a fair bit of discussion and controversy. On the whole I liked it -- I probably wouldn't put it in my top five Metroid games (and how weird does that sound, "my top five Metroid games"?), but it was perfectly solid.

That said, there is plenty to gripe about -- and I'm going to throw my hat in, starting with the stuff that didn't work and how it can be fixed, and then moving along into the stuff I did like so we can end on a nice happy upbeat note.

Oh, and major spoilers follow. So, you know, stop here if you don't want to read them.

The cutscenes.

This particular aspect of the game has probably attracted more criticism than any other, and for good reason. We've gone from an essentially mute protagonist to one who constantly narrates -- badly.

How to fix: 90% of the problems with the cutscenes could be improved by cutting out the narration. Ever hear the expression "Show, don't tell"? If someone has to explain what's going on in a visual medium, you're doing it wrong. And we don't need Samus doing these "dear diary" things where she tells us what's going on inside her head -- as the Robot Devil sagely told us, "You can't have your characters just announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!"

There is one glaring exception: the one time the game doesn't overexplain the plot is the part that most needs it, the identity of the Deleter. Who the hell is he? The game doesn't tell us. Is Samus supposed to have figured it out? If so, why didn't she ever mention it in her incessant damn narration? The closest we ever get is her finding James's body last. Are we then to assume it was him? Or is it deliberately unresolved, perhaps to be revealed in a sequel? And if that's the case, why the hell isn't that set up somewhere? It's this major plot thread that just...gets dropped.

(And if it was anyone but Adam or Anthony, what's the point? Does it really matter which random Redshirt is the traitor?)

Oh, and also, guys...it's the twenty-first damn century. There is no excuse for unskippable cutscenes.

Item acquisition.

Bad for the story. First of all, Samus being told not to use any of her equipment, and just deactivating all of it, has pissed a good many fans off, and rightfully so (see "Samus is a pussy", below). But even ignoring that, the execution is utterly nonsensical -- Adam allows his men to use Ice Beams from the get-go, but won't let Samus use hers until she's spent 10 minutes in a volcano? And speaking of the volcano, she's not allowed to use the friggin' Varia Suit at first? I mean, okay, you can come up with a plot explanation for being careful with missiles and bombs (though this would, you know, require some sort of damn payoff later in the story to actually work), but what the hell possible story justification can there be for not allowing someone to use heat shielding in a fucking volcano?

There is a neat "Screw (Attack) this" moment later on where Samus loses contact with Adam (for, it is later revealed, a profoundly stupid reason), and reenables a couple of moves on her own...but there's still no damn explanation for why she doesn't just unlock her entire arsenal at that point. For God's sake, she doesn't even enable the Gravity Suit until after she's slogged through the high-gravity area.

Oh, and incidentally, guys, it's been mentioned before, but giving a cute explanation for why Samus has to give up all her equipment at the beginning of the game only works if you explain what happened to all her missiles and energy tanks. Which brings us to:

Bad for gameplay. Unlocking Samus's powers at set intervals reduces the variety of items for you to find down to three: missiles, energy tanks, and powerups that reduce your charge time.

Now, reducing charge time is neat, and I was always happy to find one of those. And energy tanks are an essential part of a Metroid game too -- I just wish Nintendo hadn't decided to crib one of the more annoying collect-y bits from the Zelda series and started splitting them up into quarters. Does anybody like hunting for Pieces of Heart? Anybody?

Of course, the vast majority of the stuff you find in walls is going to be missiles. Trouble is, missile upgrades are damn near useless this time around, as you can fully recharge your missile supply in a couple seconds at any time (except, arbitrarily, in the last fight!). I mean, yeah, it's obviously better to have 50 missiles than 10, but the missile count just isn't as significant this time around. Especially when you're incrementing it by one at a time.

How to fix: Easiest thing to do would be just to go back to resetting Samus's powerset at the beginning of the game without explanation and having her get upgrades from Chozo statues. Sure, it requires a little bit of suspension of disbelief, but you know what requires a hell of a lot more suspension of disbelief? Being forced to turn off heat shielding in a volcano. And, you know, all that other shit I just got through complaining about.

If you're really concerned about having an in-plot explanation for Samus losing her powers, set the next game after Fusion and throw together some explanation about how the Fusion Suit can't retain its upgrades over time. Easy.

And it doesn't have to be the same arsenal in every game, guys! Let's see some new equipment!

Samus is a pussy.

We've already covered Samus's subservience to Adam, but the scene that rightfully cheesed a bunch of people off is the one where she's literally transformed into a crying child when Ridley confronts her.

Guys, I see what you're going for here -- the game plays with the image of a child's cry from beginning to end. And you're trying to show Samus gets scared sometimes -- Alien, after all, never had a problem showing Ripley scared shitless.

Difference is, Ripley still got shit done. She never needed a man to swoop in and snap her out of her little-girl crying.

And of course there's the fact that Samus has killed Ridley, what, four times by this point? That doesn't necessarily mean she can't still be afraid of him -- after all, it's not going to make the giant monster who killed your parents less scary if he keeps coming back from the dead -- but she never froze up on the previous four occasions, so it seems silly for her to do so now.

How to fix: I've already covered the "don't make Samus switch her equipment off and on at some dude's whim" point. As for the Ridley scene, it's okay to show her scared, but not to have her fall to pieces and just stand there. You really want to play the "crying child" thing, okay, make it a flashback, but this whole scene, Anthony's non-sacrifice and all, would still have worked without making Samus totally helpless.

Invisible walls.

This game has the worst abuse of invisible barriers I've seen since the Nintendo 64 era. It's embarrassing. If something looks like empty space, I should be able to walk through it. If there's an object with a flat top that's lower than the maximum height of my jump, I should be able to stand on it.

How to fix: If you don't want me to be able to walk through something, put a wall there. If you don't want me to be able to stand on top of something, make it taller, or have it end in a point. It's not rocket science, guys; this is embarrassing.

Pixel hunting.

I am not a guy who usually looks at walkthroughs, but several times throughout this game I had to punch one up after spending ten minutes trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be looking at out of all the tiny objects off in the distance that are almost the same color as the background. It's utter nonsense -- that boss isn't going to attack me until I see the larva? MB's just going to stand at that window and watch me look around for five minutes and only run away once I've actually looked directly at her? -- and it completely kills the momentum of the game.

While scanning worked okay in Metroid Prime, this is fundamentally different. Prime clearly marked everything that was scannable, and let you move around while you were looking for things.

How to fix: It can't be fixed. Fucking get rid of it. The moment you think it would be a good idea to include another pixel hunt, bash your hand with a hammer. Keep doing this until you no longer think it sounds like a good idea.

Unclear objectives and inconsistent rules.

Following off the above section: I had to look up a walkthrough three times in the endgame. First, to find out what I was supposed to be looking for in Room MW. Second, to figure out how to beat the Metroid Queen -- yes, I'd figured Power Bombs, but holding down the button didn't work, you had to go into the menu and activate them. Which would be fine if that had been how it worked for every single other power, but all the rest activated automatically. You can't go changing the way powers are activated at the very end of the game.

And after that, there was one final pixel hunt. In the middle of a fight. Where you can't dodge or recharge your missiles and indeed there's not actually any indication that your goal is to look at the middle of the room instead of the guys shooting you in the face.

How to fix: You don't need to hold my hand and spell everything out for me, but make points of interest visible (at least if they're places I have to go and not, say, missile upgrades), and don't change the rules of the game at the very end.

Anyhow, enough with the complaints and on with the good stuff:

The cutscenes.

It almost feels like the cutscenes were created in order, because -- with the exception of the horrendous Ridley sequence late in the game -- they get progressively better. Adam's death is a real high point, and while Madeline spends a bit too much time on exposition, there's a real sense of tragedy and pathos to the ending. There's potential here; it gives me hope they'll get it right from the beginning in the sequel.

And you know, I didn't really think the voice acting was that bad -- I didn't think it was fantastic, but it was competent, especially given the material.

The Metroids.

I could count all the Metroids in this game on my hands. They only show up at the end of the game, and they are bitch-ass hard to kill.

This is exactly how it should be. Keep the Metroids scarce, make them scary and make them a legitimate challenge.

The high-gravity sequence.

Yeah, it was a pain in the ass to play, and Samus's refusal to activate the Gravity Suit is utterly nonsensical, but it was probably the most legitimately creative point in the game.

The escape sequence.

It's hard to take a formula and make it surprising. Super Metroid put its twist on the escape sequence by making the room tilt; Zero Mission added the Zero Suit stealth sequence, and this one puts the whole thing after the end credits. Great twist; too bad it won't be a surprise next time (and too bad a guy with a loud mouth spoiled it on my messageboard).

The return of the Zero Suit doesn't make a lick of plot sense (and neither does Adam leaving his helmet behind in the first place), but it's fun -- chalk another one up in the "I'm willing to suspend disbelief if you give me something worthwhile in exchange" column.

Speaking of which,

Three Stages of Ridley.

It's completely ridiculous, but I love it.

No drops.

It was a little odd at first, getting used to the lack of energy/missile drops, but it really fits the mechanics of this game well. Running out of missiles is a minor inconvenience, but recharging health requires a real risk -- and pays off often enough that it's not frustrating, while getting you killed often enough that the game's still a challenge.

Well-placed save points and forgiving deaths.

In general, I tend to wish the Japanese would figure out that we're not saving to batteries anymore and realize save points are anachronisms and just let me save wherever I want -- but this is the next best thing. You rarely, if ever, go 20 minutes without hitting a save point and, better still, always respawn close to where you die (eg at the beginning of a boss fight). It allows the game to be challenging without being too punishing -- especially given the aforementioned unskippable cutscenes.

The gameplay!

Saving the most obvious for last -- for all its flaws, this is a pretty fun game to play. It's nailed the atmosphere and mechanics of the series. Sure, combat's a bit more complicated, but it seldom hurts the momentum of the game. Make no mistake: this game plays like a Metroid. It's got its blemishes, but I enjoyed it, and I played it through to the end -- and, perhaps most notably, it made me want to go back and replay its spiritual predecessor (and chronological successor), Metroid Fusion.

All in all, a pretty good game. With some spit and polish, a sequel could be better yet.