KateStory Characters

Kelly, Billy, and Janey

Kelly London

If KateStory has a main character, Kelly's it. She began as a nondescript girl looking for an adventure, and wacky hijinks ensued. Her experience as a hypnotized QVC saleswoman landed her a job at the spam factory, and quick and repeated promotions have placed her at the top: an executive with an underground concrete bunker. She's also developed a penchant for giant warmechs.

First Appearance: I
All Appearances: I, II, III, IV, V, VII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Billy von Garda

Billy joined Kelly in Part II, and they have been close friends ever since. After 15 years or so of will-they-won't-they-are-they-aren't-they, they got married and had a couple kids. Billy is good-natured but generally clueless.

First Appearance: II
All Appearances: II, III, IV, V, VII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Janey Blackburn

The latest addition to the team, Janey was an ordinary college student until she discovered she was some kind of mystical half-demon with strange powers or something. We last saw her in a graduate program at Miskatonic University, keeping her heritage secret for reasons of personal pride.

First Appearance: XIII
All Appearances: XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII


The Authors

Stef

The originator of KateStory. Best known for popping in to post a few chapters near the start of a story and then sitting back and watching, she's gotten a real job and bowed out of the past few installments. I've scrubbed her last name from the old bits at her request.

First Appearance: VII
All Appearances: VII, IX, X, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVIII

Thad

Grammar nazi and KateStory archivist, which as it turns out is a much more difficult job than it sounds. King of Watches With Those Little Blue Lights. Person writing this.

First Appearance: VII
All Appearances: VII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Brent

Chaotic, random jokester, The Man Who Can't Get a Single Damn Accent Right. Whenever KateStory gets too serious or too silly, he's there to make sure the universe explodes.

First Appearance: I
All Appearances: I, VII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII
Referenced but Not Seen: V

Steve

Unbalanced and socially maladjusted from an upbringing in redneck Prescott Arizona, Stiv went from drunken college student to twisted and evil math professor. He hasn't been involved in the KateStory for the past few years, but it still reels from the madness he inflicted on it over the years.

First Appearance: IX
All Appearances: IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVIII

Adam

The newest regular addition to Team Self-Insertion, a sailor on board the USS Kidnapped by Ninjas.

First Appearance: XIV
All Appearances: XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII


The Authors' Avatars

Kate

Stef's avatar; Kate as in KateStory. A holdover from Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction we wrote when we were 11. Young woman with magical chaos powers, most notably a green flame that radiates around her right hand.

First Appearance: II
All Appearances: II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, X, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII
Referenced but Not Seen: I, IX

Mega Man X

Thad's avatar. As in the games, he is alternately portrayed as a whiny pacifist and an unbalanced pyromaniac only too eager to "retire" everything that moves. Often referred to as simply "X".

First Appearance: II
All Appearances: II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Hedgehog X

Brent's avatar; another holdover from the Sonic '9X days. Similar to Sonic but smaller and purple. He's actually blue but suffused with a glowing red aura which grants him extra strength. In a pinch he can focus the aura telekinetically, but if he overexerts himself it disappates for hours at a time. He's also Kate's little brother. Don't ask.

Hedgehog X can also turn into Zero from Mega Man X. It's another fanfic thing. Don't worry about it.

First Appearance: I
All Appearances: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Maleophonix the Singing Candy Machine

Sometimes an alternate form of Hedgehog X and sometimes a separate entity.

First Appearance: II
All Appearances: II, VII, VIII, X, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVIII
Referenced but Not Seen: III, IV, V, IX, XI

Gok Tinnik

Kazz's avatar. A young detective who was displaced into a demon realm and returned as a blue-furred monster.

First Appearance: XIII
All Appearances: XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

McDohl

Adam's avatar (though, as the hero of a cult classic video game, he actually appeared in the story well before Adam ever joined in). Tir McDohl, the leader of the Toran Liberation Army from the original Suikoden.

First Appearance: X
All Appearances: X, XIV, XV, XVI
Flashback Only: XVIII

Frog

Thad's other avatar. (Brent and I both went through a hell of a lot of avatars back in the old Prodigy days.) Frog, AKA Glenn, from Chrono Trigger, a cursed knight who speaks in ridiculously inaccurate faux-Shakespearean English. In the KateStory, his sword, the Masamune, is powered by an electroluminescent wristwatch.

First Appearance: VI
All Appearances: VI, VII, X, XI, XVII
Referenced but Not Seen: IX, XVIII (flashback)


Abstract Concepts Anthropomorphized

LOGIC

The most constantly abused and tortured figure in KateStory. He has many forms -- he began as a disembodied voice but then became a person (I usually picture him as fat, sweaty, and balding) and has assumed demonic form on more than one occasion.

First Appearance: III
All Appearances: III, VIII, IX, X, XI, XIII, XIV, XV
Referenced but Not Seen: IV, V, XII, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Plot

In only slightly better shape than LOGIC. Introduced as a tall, skinny, and shaky man with a high-pitched nasal voice, he's since been gender-morphed into a sexy lady.

First Appearance: X
All Appearances: X, XIII, XIV, XV
Referenced but Not Seen: XVII, XVIII


Villains

Girard

Social outcast -- sort of like a nerd only not bright enough -- with perpetual flames coming from his hair, resulting from an accident trying to create a Star Trek transporter.

First Appearance: IX
All Appearances: IX, X, XI, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Dr. Wily

Twisted and evil roboticist and Pascal teacher at Prescott High.

First Appearance: IX
All Appearances: IX, X, XI, XII, XVI
Referenced but Not Seen: XIV

Dr. Billy

Not to be confused with Regular Billy. Or Dr. Wily. He's a combination of Dr. Wily and Bill Gates, who appeared in Sharkey's Shark Man 2 spoof some time last century.

First Appearance: XI
All Appearances: XI, XV, XVII
Referenced but Not Seen: XVIII

The Amazing Mr. H

Hitler.

First Appearance: XII
All Appearances: XII, XIII, XIV, XV

Drago Morgan

A creepy but highly innefectual stalker who is determined to destroy Janey at all costs.

First Appearance: XVII
All Appearances: XVII, XVIII


Minor Recurring Characters

Anticlimax

Boring rent-a-hero who occasionally shows up at the end of a story to realize he's missed all the fun.

First Appearance: II
All Appearances: II, III, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV
Referenced but Not Seen: IV, IX, XVI, XVII, XVIII

Marvin the Paranoid Android

The depressed robot from the Hitchhiker's Guide series. Not actually paranoid, though I initially depicted him that way since I hadn't read the books yet.

First Appearance: V
All Appearances: V, XIV, XVI, XVIII

Crazy Willy

Maniac with a chain and a limited vocabulary.

First Appearance: VII
All Appearances: VII, IX, X, XI, XIV, XV
Referenced but Not Seen: XVII, XVIII (flashback)

The Flyin' Dork

Idiot in a green bird costume with a limited vocabulary.

First Appearance: VII
All Appearances: VII, IX, XIV, XV, XVIII

Jojo the Flipping Elf

Master of disguise.

First Appearance: IX
All Appearances: IX, X, XII, XIV, XV, XVII, XVIII

Vincent Price

Always accompanied by sexy go-go dancers, who he will occasionally make out with. Originally depicted as Dr. Goldfoot, now depicted as his own rotting corpse.

First Appearance: XI
All Appearances: XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV
Flashback Only: XVIII

Mr. Shithead the Shithead

A shithead.

First Appearance: XI
All Appearances: XI, XII, XIV, XV
Referenced but Not Seen: XVII

Uncle Larry

Gok Tinnik's enigmatic uncle, a time-traveler and sometime Illuminatus with ties to the demon world. Just how much he knows about this crazy universe is uncertain, but everyone agrees it falls somewhere in the "more than he lets on" range.

First Appearance: XIV
All Appearances: XIV, XV, XVI, XVII
Referenced but Not Seen: XVII, XVIII

Lord Fenwick "Fig" Minton

An eccentric but powerful old aristocrat; his manservant, Jones, is never far from his side.

First Appearance: XVII
All Appearances: XVII, XVIII


Created 2004-03-25
Uploaded 2004-04-01
Last Updated 2014-10-21