Okay, so I lied, that sorta had a plot. But now things really start getting muddled, though (in case you couldn't figure it out from the title) there is somewhat of a focus on Final Fantasy 6 (3 US) and Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising Sequence.
Anywayz, this picks up a month after the last left off...and ANT 100 decided against sticking around even though I said he could.
..."Sure!" X said. "You've learned your lesson, and I've tortured you in my stories, and in short a lot of stuff has happened since that fateful day last December. Welcome back!" With that, he did a Dragon Punch to close the deal.
"Uhhh, what next?" HX asked seriously. "I can't possibly think of another idea!"
"Of course you can't!" Kate snapped. "You wrote out Billy and Kelly, the main characters!"
"They're not the main characters anymore!" HX replied.
"This wasn't supposed to be a Sonic story!" Kate yelled.
"Look," Raptor said, "all this brother/sisterly love is really touching, but I'm hungry!!! I don't even care that I'm not supposed to talk!"
"We can communicate through the Emerald of Communication," X explained. Then, he gasped, and said, "Uh...where are the Emeralds?!"
"Isn't that what we've been searching for in the past several parts?" ANT 100 asked. "I'm confused!"
"We all are," HX said. "So, what do we do now?"
Before anyone could put in a word edgewise, Raptor licked his chops and started chasing ANT 100 through the countryside.
"Help!" ANT 100 screamed. "Stop! I'm not made of meat!"
"The Chaos Children are invincible," Raptor explained, "and you were two feet closer to me than X! So, prepare to become lunch!"
"Should we follow them?" X asked.
- X
All righty then...
"No, we are not following them," said Kate, stamping her foot.
"Pushy," said HX.
Kate whacked him on the head. "Shut up."
Suddenly, something happened:
"Okay, one of those 'go to another world' sequences," X said, when the worst possible thing happened (even worse than when HX hiccuped):
"Oh, Barney, look at those weird people!"
"That's not nice, Kathy. Say you're sorry."
"Okay, Barney. Sorry."
Kate let out a terrified scream: they were caught in the world of...
- Kate
"Read!" HX screamed as he got out a piece of paper with handwriting just like his. In an instant, they were in an open field.
"What was that?" said X, starting to read the manuscript. "Um, Hedgie, why were you writing a script for Final Fantasy IV?"
"Because I wanted to!" HX yelled. X read some more, with Kate starting in.
"Why, it's the KateStory!" Kate exclaimed, "Nothing's changed!"
"Except us," HX said lowly. It was true. Kate was a fairy. X was a Magitek robot, and HX was a human in clerical robes.
"So I wouldn't get sued," HX explained, "and to fit the story better. Oh, Kate's name is Fairy Tail Magi, I'm Faria Magi, and X's new name is obvious."
"Magitek Armor," X guessed.
"Uh-huh."
"So where are we?" Fairy asked.
"Judging from the airship, it's sometime after the opera scene."
An airship landed right beside them.
"Aha! There you are!" Kelly exclaimed. Faria simply winked.
In their spare time, Fairy and Magitek read the script to find out their predicament. This is what they got:
After the dream, Kelly woke up in the witch's dungeon, who threw her to Mt. Morian, where she met Faria (the other seven Ego-Trip members didn't exist), who took her in after helping him defeat Caradhras the Cruel. Faria trained her to use her "highly potent" chi energy into attacks she could use once per fight. The rest remains the same: Faria's sister Fairy, who resides in the hidden land of Faerie (a country of mystical creatures) went crazy and used her magical powers to create a median spell. Faria was turned into a human by a wise old elf to help fight off a monster in Faerie. Kelly and Faria met up with two researchers of magic, Sabin and Edgar, who helped them defeat Fairy.
Unfortunately, Fairy instead disrupted time, turned Faria into a singing candy machine, jailed Sabin and Edgar, and held Kelly to do a cooking show.
[Editor's Note: You changed things to avoid getting sued, but added Caradhras the Cruel?! Ooooooooooooooooookay...]
The story of Billy, Anticlimax, and Magitek remains the same up until the end...Kelly and Billy were not written out, but instead went off to find adventure. They were visiting Faria and Fairy after a week of this when Faerie was attacked by a human with a flamethrower. He was defeated, and they all realized that the Median Spell was endangering Faerie, and that it must be stopped.
Things proceed normally after that, until LOGIC brought about "The Gathering of Worlds". Faria woke up alone and was aided by the knight, Cyan, who was taking care of the injured people in Garamonde Hall. Fairy woke up in the dungeon of the Dark Lord, whom she defeated. This time, she became the Dark Queen, and attacked Garamonde Hall, but was defeated and brought back to her senses by a white magic spell. Fairy and Faria traveled around, and found that they were stranded on an island. They found Kelly's parents, Locke and Celes, but they were of little help. They also found a friend, Wonko the Insane, who helped them out and into another land. Kelly was found working at Albertson's.
Also, they rented an airship and pilot named Setzer. Setzer heard of their problem and decided to help them, giving his help and airship. The script ends there, for now they were at the present.
"We can get some friends this way," said Faria as they emerged.
"Shall we play the game through?" Fairy asked.
- Hedgehog X
X, err, Magitek, said, "You fool!!! I'm the only person in the world who hasn't played FFIII!!! You're sounding like my algebra book!!!!!" With that, Magitek brought out his algebra book and banged his head on it.
Surprisingly enough, it was a magic algebra book! Then...
- X
...X disappeared into some land or another.
"Shall we follow him?" Fairy asked.
"Nah. Magitek's a minor character. We'll keep the book handy just in case we need to leave."
The book was then stored in the cargo hold of the airship.
"Now, where shall we go next?"
"Um..." Faria thought, "Hmm...how about that cube place over there?"
- Hedgehog X
X muttered something about how his friends wouldn't say anything in English. Suddenly, he looked ahead of him, and saw he was on Jeopardy!
- X
Fairy looked confused...which she was.
- Kate
X, who was able to answer all the questions...errr, question all the answers...walked out of the Jeopardy studio with about a million bucks, as well as an invitation to be there on the next show.
- X
"It was a good thing you didn't follow X...Magitek...whatever," Fairy said.
"Why?" Faria asked.
"Because he's in Jeopardy," she answered.
"Then why," Faria asked, "shouldn't we follow?"
"Because Alex is annoying."
Faria pondered this for a minute, then realized what she was talking about.
"How did you know that? Magic?"
"Nope," Fairy answered. "I read the last reply."
Wonko stared at the cubic building the party had just landed by.
- Fariahog X
Suddenly, X appeared. "Alex is not annoying!" he screamed at Fairy. "He rocks!"
"Rocks" was X's latest catch phrase, they realized, and they found he'd repeat it over and over and over and over and over and over and...oops, six-page limit. <G>
"Sorry, guys," X said, "but I just can't let this keep up. You've gotta follow my example and become normal again."
Then, before they could protest (and make cracks about his line about being "normal"), he hit them both with Magic Algebra Books.
"X!" Faria...errr, Hedgehog X screamed. "Why'd you ruin my fun?!"
"And, weren't you supposed to turn in your algebra book anyway?" Kate asked.
X smiled. It was time for a new adventure.
- X
"Well, okay," HX said. "But it would be interesting, as we were all going to find out Wonko was really Kefka but Kefka wasn't sane and..."
"Shut up," X scolded HX.
"All right, but for a minute there I knew Ultima..."
"I said shut up!"
Kate kept quiet through all this.
HX looked around. "Where are we?" he asked.
"I dunno, you're writing this part!" Kate answered.
Actually there was a pretty good chance of the middle of nowhere, because it was a total void. All black, silent, tasteless, nonexistent void.
"I can't taste anything, smell anything, hear anything (besides you), see anything, or feel anything," HX said.
"I can't smell anything, taste anything, see anything, feel anything, or hear anything," Kate said.
"I can't taste anything, smell anything, see anything or hear anything," X said.
There was a long pause.
"I still can't taste anything, smell anything, hear anything, see anything, or feel anything," HX said.
"And I still can't smell, taste, see, feel, or hear anything," Kate said.
"I can't taste, smell, see, or hear," X said.
"When are you going to come to your senses and solve this puzzle?" A voice rang out.
"X..." Kate said. "What do you feel?"
- Hedgehog X
"I feel insane!" X screamed. Suddenly, he fired the Speed Burner, revealing light for a few seconds.
"I think the Fire Wave will be more effective," Hedgehog X observed. "Allow me." He used the Fire Wave he'd gotten at the end of Book 5 of Sonic Meets X, revealing that they were in a labyrinth of some sort.
"Great," X muttered. "I know where we are. Here, you'll need these."
With that, he tossed Kate a crossbow and Hedgehog X a pair of gauntlets.
"You've been playing Heretic," Hedgehog X muttered, and they were off.
- X
"What's Heretic?" asked Kate.
"Heretic is a Doom look-alike by the people who made Doom and has the same premise and story as Doom and the only thing that separates it from Doom is the era, so that's why I call it Doom 1111."
"Whoa."
- Hedgehog X
"Shoot," X growled.
"What's wrong?" HX asked.
"I said, shoot!!!!" X screamed. He spun and fired plasma at a Red Demon who had been inches away from Kate's head.
"We need to be more careful," HX said.
"Yeah," X agreed. "Especially since Heretic isn't really written by the same guys who did Doom. It's published by Id, but it's made by Raven."
"Shut up," Kate muttered as another demon appeared. She blasted it with her Ethereal Arrows, while HX turned around and burned one of those big tan dudes with his gauntlets.
"Stay close," X said, "I have a plan."
Kate and HX rolled their eyes, but followed X anyway.
X burned a hole in the wall, revealing a teleporter. They entered, and when they came out, they were elsewhere.
X, wearing six circles (each quartered by a cross) around his neck, muttered to Hedgehog X with an English accent, "Bran, keep Eirias drawn. There could be trouble."
"Right, Will," came the reply in a Welsh accent. Hedgehog X...errr, Bran Davies...drew a crystal sword from an invisible sheath. Blue flames flickered on its edge.
Kate...actually, Jane Drew, said, "So, the Dark is near. Let's be careful."
"Watch your backs," Will muttered.
- Will Stanton, AKA X
Note: To those of you thoroughly confused, read the Dark is Rising sequence, by Susan Cooper. The books in the series, in order, are as follows:
Over Sea, Under Stone
The Dark is Rising
Greenwitch
The Grey King
Silver on the Tree
Note: When you get done with Over Sea, Under Stone and move on to The Dark is Rising, you'll find that the characters aren't the same. This is really discouraging, and it almost makes you stop reading the book. Don't!!! Even though it's annoying for a few pages, The Dark is Rising is actually the best book in the series...and don't worry, the Drews come back in Greenwitch.
...and they all died! The End.
- Raptor
Sorry, Kate, but my...mind...is under...the control...of...sugar!
Hominahominahominahominahominahomina...
Sorry, buddy, but that just don't woik. Y'see, Will Stanton is immortal...in any case, let's just get back to where we were.
- Will Stanton, AKA X
Ummmmmm...I knew that.
- Raptor
No, wait...everybody except Will and any other immortals died. Then two sprites popped up from nowhere and revived whoever HX and Kate were supposed to be. Then they flew away.
"Hey, who killed me?" HX said, thrashing wildly.
"And how did we revive?" Kate asked.
"And where did you get the sprites?" X asked HX.
"Oh, sprites," Kate muttered, and collapsed of boredom from being in a two man, one woman world (except for immortals but since I never read the book it's safe to say Will's the only one).
"First tell me who killed me!"
"Dunno," X/Will shrugged, "Raptor."
"Oh," HX said, "The sprites were from my wanderings. I got them in the world of, wonder of wonders, Zelda III."
"Where were they? In your pocket?"
"Yes, you could say that," HX laughed, pulling a small black object from his pocket.
"Hey...didn't you have a pack in the pub?"
"Yes, but that was only an anomaly of the Hole-in-Plot problem," HX answered. "This thing, though, can carry everything...like sprites."
"Oh," said X, as Kate recovered. She looked around and collapsed again. The other two collapsed also.
Unfortunately, HX collapsed on the thing (it's called The-Thing-Arthur's-Aunt-Gave-Him-But-No-One-Knows-What-It-Is), which contained various magic items, and he found himself in clouds. A man was talking to the man whose name I won't use. Lord, that's good.
"I refuse to prove my existence, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing," says Lord.
"But," says the man, "the universe could not have been created by itself, which proves your existence. But, by your last argument, it proves you don't exist!"
"Gee, I never thought of that," thinks Lord as he disappears in a puff of logic.
"That sure was easy," says the man, and goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed in the next Zebra crossing.*
The clouds went with Lord, and HX fell to the Earth, or whatever you wanted to call it, because by now the Earth had been so garbled it wasn't quite Earth anymore. HX swore to stop the Median effect right before he landed in the middle of nowhere.
- Hedgehog X
* Does that sound familiar to anyone?
X growled. "I'll kill that dino," he muttered. "Where is he?!"
"Better question," Kate replied. "Where are we?"
"I dunno," X said. "But, while we're trying to figure it out, HX can read The Dark is Rising Sequence!"
"Sounds good to me," Kate said.
- X
Unfortunately, HX could do nothing of the sort, because he was stranded in the middle of nowhere. HX knew he was in the middle of nowhere because he had been here before, and he knew that if he didn't make his escape from it interesting, he would be out of the story. He also knew that Kelly, Billy, and Anticlimax were here.
He wandered north (at least, he thought it was north) until he saw a castle. The castle was the whole point of their quest but was forgotten now. It was Castle Chaos. He also saw four figures that were also important but forgotten.
They were foxes. HX picked up a convenient bat, whacked Vails and his family, and retrieved the map.
He found one tiny mark in the middle of nowhere. This, he figured, was HX's last appearance here, and where he would most likely find Kelly, Billy, and Anticlimax. He pushed it.
- Hedgehog X
X smiled. "We finally made it," he sighed. "You did it, bud."
"That's it?!" Kate asked. "The story's finished?!"
"Yup," HX replied, "after almost a year, it's finally done."
Kate sighed, part relief and part sadness. "So," she said, "what's next?"
"We're not getting any rest," X replied. "Dreams Distorted is coming up. So, grab a bowl of popcorn, and read, cuz this could take the whole summer."
[Editor's Note: It was terrible when DD crashed and burned...it was Brent's fault.]
"What'll we do if we get bored?" asked Raptor, who had magically reappeared.
"We can always continue your story," X said.
"Well, what about us?" Kelly and Billy asked in unison.
"Don't worry," X replied, "there's bound to be a Book 3...someday."
Kelly and Billy, both of them surprised at what they were doing, shared a quick kiss, and then faded out.
X smiled. "This dream is over," he said, "but a new one...or, actually, about a couple dozen new ones...are beginning...probably tomorrow."
The team smiled, and all sat back in some comfy chairs. Finally, they thought as the began to fade out, some rest.
So ends one Sonic reality...for now. But, don't worry. There are others to be looked at...but for tonight, I think I'll just write the prologue, and then go to bed.
- X
Created 04.03.27