Episode 6: The Holy Trinity vs. Hiroshi Yamauchi
 Whassup, niigas? You all my beeches now! |
Oh no Karnov! Brentai's Waste is Server Space is fucked! At 7:06 AM on Oct 1, 1997, Hiroshi Yamauchi popped out of my panties and told me that any who opposed him would suffer severe anal raping of the webpage. A few weeks ago, after I had forgotten all about this bizarre and random incident, I decided to initiate a bizarre and unidentifiable hack which added a spitter-like frill to his already reptilian features. The exact events of his horrible retribution went a bit like this... |
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Good job Brentai! Your long and arduous quest to Colorado to retrieve the special seizure-inducing magic ingredients has proven a success. With these ingredients we were able to use Alex Chiu's Asian blood against him and cause him to HAVE A SEIZURE! |
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fUUuUuuuuUUUuUUUuuuuuuUK |
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Yes, you have indeed done well. But now it is time for the deceptive ring of deception to be revealed to you! CRAZY JAPANESE EXECUTIVE DIGIVOLVE! |
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MYSTERIOUSSHADOWYFIGURE became Hiroshi Yamauchi! |
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Fuk! It is my patron arch-enemy, Hiroshi Yamauchi! Die, destroyer of once-legendary publishers! |
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Yes, it was I all along who has worked to ruin your life, Brentai the Hentai! When you defaced my, er, face, I traveled back in time and used my sorcery to create a BAD WORLD, filled with EVIL! |
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First, I assassinated the leader of The Web Union, starting the chain of events that led all good websites to collapse. |
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Then I took the form of MYSTERIOUSSHADOWYFIGURE to join together you, Thad, and Stephen and give you all cards that allowed you to enter the meal halls. Oh, but I forgot to mention Thad and Stephen being hypnotized and the meal halls not existing to feed you, but to break your spirit and soul! |
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Alex Chiu was used as bait to get you to find the seizure inducing ingredients for us. Before I used them on Alex Chiu, I snuck into your website and sprinkled it liberally, thus causing it to descend into madness. |
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And while you were in Colorado, I secretly subjected you to the teachings of my evil master, tricking you into entering his cult of madness and unworkability. |
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Yes, Brentai... you are now my bitch. The bitch of SLACKWARE LINUX! |
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Damn you all! Damn you all to HELL! |
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Yes Brentai, you are now fucked. The only thing that can save you now is your miracle power of friendship. Let us see you try to escape my trap. Ha! Ha! Ha! |
Will Brentai's miracle power of friendship defeat Hiroshi Yamuchi?
Brentai needs your help to continue writing webpages!
Brentai is now a poor college student. But up against a foe such as the powerful and maniacal Yamauchi, he must have plenty of heart and, more importantly, plenty of money. The time has come... the time when Brentai, like fucking everyone else, must ask for your generous donations and lethal weapons. Remember everyone, I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for a good cause, namely, destroying the CEO of Nintendo once and for all!
So send your cash, checks, money orders, gold, wives, little sisters and lesbian hentai pics of Sasami and Washu to:
Obviously Fake Address
1234 Godyerfukingullibal Lane
Boulder, CO 6,000,000 Man
If I get enough money, I'll put on a Sailor Moon outfit without panties and consent to do a "Sweatin' To the Oldies" tape as Richard Simmons' bitch!
Please, for the love of God. I haven't eaten in 3 weeks.
