Episode 5: JOEY RAMONE IS DEAD!

A story about why Bucky The Lucky Badger's Sex With A Hat remained unupdated between April and June of 2001.

by Steve

	.. And that's why you shouldn't start a fire in your house, little Timmy!
	Ha ha ha! That sure is right, Thad. Hey, Steve, stop wanking off to that sheep getting cornholed and come help little Timmy learn the awesome power - and responsibility - that comes with fire!
	God damnit, and it was just getting to the good part.
	Stop, impetuous fools! Don't you want Timmy to grow up to be a delinquent and produce badass cultural artifacts for you to make fun of?!?
	Gasp! My arch-nemesis, Art Fag Groupie Girl!
	And she has a gun!
	Impetuous fool! This is not any ordinary gun - much like plot devices used in inspid Jerry Buckheimer films it brings back the dead!!
	Gasp!
	Gasp!
	Ha ha ha! Now it is my turn to laugh, as I summon my zombie minion from beyond the grave! Destroy these fools!
	Rarrrr.. brains.. I don't wanna be a Pinhead no more.
	NOOO!! My one weakness, hillarious yet strangely artistic and fun punk music played by goofy-looking street kids! Brent, Thad, help!
	Duuuh.. must.. rip off.. Sharkey...
	Fuck! I've been assimilated!
	Braaaains.. the KKK took my braaaaains away.
	NOOOO!!
	Ha ha ha! You are powerless before the zombie of Joey Ramone!
	... Holy fuck, you mean that's not really Joey? JOEY RAMONE IS DEAD?!?? Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
	I don't wanna be buried... in a peeeet cemmeeeetaaary.
	You know, this isn't inspiring the appropriate amount of fear in you. I'm just going to go watch some Kenneth Anger movies. Come, zombie of Joey!
	Braaaaaains. I mean, okay. I wanna be sedated.
	Noooo! Is it my fate to listen to the zombie of Joey Ramone spout off innaities that any moron could realize are nothing more than regurgitated snippets of his songs, or even worse, that I can only write such tripe? I must consider these and other important issues before I even think of inflicting such crap upon the masochistic dicks who read it willingly!

Dedicated in loving memory to everybody's favourite semi-articulate punk rocker, Joey Ramone, who died April 15.